Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
