All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
