SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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