you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
why do cheetos always look like penises
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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