what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
