What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
