I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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