I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she peed on how many people?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
