last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
