Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
