Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
