Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
