I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
