i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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