yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
