I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
