Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
