RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
