Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Randomize
