The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
