things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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