Your tits are I can't wait for
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
