Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
