I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
