Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
