butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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