I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
