my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
