If that was your dad, he is hot
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
