some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
COCAINE IS GR8
i believe in u and ur pee
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
