put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This baby is an asshole
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
