i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
