Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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