I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
