Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
