Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
