the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
