So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
