Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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