you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
