I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think my moral compass just broke
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