I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
