Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
