don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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