I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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