Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
