We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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