It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
