as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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