I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
