you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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