whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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