New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
